Today we celebrated three extra years with Christian. Bonus years, as I see them.
Three years ago today we lost Christian...but he made it back to us. And so, we celebrate.
I think these kinds of anniversaries are difficult for families like ours. With good reason. I do a lot of "this time last year...this time two years ago...this time three years ago." When playing that game, now always wins.
From the first anniversary I always felt compelled to celebrate. I know it's hard for people to understand my intention and I know others couldn't imagine celebrating a day like that. But for me, I see no other option! So we spent time together as a family. Just us.
We decided to go out to eat. It has become an anniversary tradition. Christian wasn't thrilled with the outing seeing as how the whole thing was interrupting his late afternoon nap. And after the novelty of coloring the paper children's menu wore off - all of about ten minutes - Lola was ready to walk (run) around the restaurant as soon as she could get the chance. Mama said no, the tears started, and before we knew it we were a regular family with whiny kids trying to enjoy some Lobster Nachos.
See?! Normal. Just like everybody else.
That type of normal was what we were celebrating.
This date doesn't make me sad. No. Walking through a football field and catching four year old little boys getting their feet wet playing flag football makes my heart jump into my throat a little. But not this day. On this day, I feel nothing but a sense of gratitude. Every part of me feels so thankful and I actually feel like our family as a whole has conquered three years of this new life of ours.
I always go back to how this could have easily been a day where we were visiting a grave yard. And that would be sad. Truly sad.
That's not the case, though. We got some bonus years and we intend to take full advantage of them and with that, celebration is required.
So we wrapped up our celebration day with a visit outside for some left over sparklers and ice cream.
We celebrated Christian today.
'Cause Baby you're a firework!
Come on show'em what you're worth...
...Boom, boom, boom,
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon.