We have a big day tomorrow.
Christian will become a bionic boy around nine in the morning. At least that's when the surgery is scheduled to commence.
We've completed our bedtime ritual, complete with a new addition - washing with the lovely surgical soap. Christian's hands are soft and he's about ready to finally fall asleep. We're ready.
I could talk about feelings of nervousness and the risk involved. But I don't feel like doing that. Tomorrow is for serious medical talk and hospital jargon. Besides, I already had a talk with God and it's all good. Tonight I want to talk about fluff.
I really love movies. It's a family thing we do - rent movies at least once a week, pop popcorn, drink soda, turn of the lights - it's one of my favorite things. And it's something Gabe still likes to do with his parents so I'm latching on to it for as long as I can.
Anyway, there are some movies that have become different movies to me after having a child with special needs, facing death, hospital stays, learning to move forward and the like.
So here is my list of recent movies I've seen that have struck a cord/punched me in the stomach/stuck with me.
Lorenzo's Oil - I think I've mentioned this movie before. I had never seen it and it was made about twenty years ago, but it's about parents who will go to great lengths to help their son with a rare disease. Even if it only means that their findings will help other children and may not be as successful for their son, they still press on, relentlessly. It's a true story and they did end up finding a cure for this very rare disease, although they're real vision was to find their son's voice, which is a metaphor for finding him again through the damage caused by the disease.
Rabbit Hole - Rabbit Hole isn't about having a child with special needs but it is about grieving parents. The reviews of this movies used adjectives like depressing and heavy, but I absolutely loved every part of the movie. The heart of it is really about grieving parents and how they decide to move forward one step at a time. They don't know what five days from now will bring but they will make the first step today. It was brutally and painfully honest.
The Orphanage - Okay, this is a weird one because it's actually a ghost story out of Spain and it's all in English subtitles. I saw this movie before I had a child with special needs and at that time it was just a really scary, really well done ghost movie. But now that I have a child with special needs it has become a different movie for me. And I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I cried at the end. I don't want to ruin it for anyone and it does still scare the crap out of me. But it ends up being a well told story that hit a little close to home for me. And it's a ghost story! Who knew?
Horse Boy - Horse Boy is a documentary about parents who, again, go to literally the ends of the earth to help their autistic son. And some of this is done by horseback. It's a beautiful and inspiring documentary and every time I suggest it to someone they look at me like "Horse Boy? Okay, crazy lady." But I'm serious! Watch it! It's available on Netflix.
Steel Magnolias - Yes, seriously. I've seen this movie probably around fifty times throughout my life. I didn't always cry over it but it has always been one of the chick flick movies to watch. It's like part of some womanhood initiation or something. But with my life and death nerves heavily exposed it became a different movie for me. The part where Shelby's mother (played by Sally Field) looses it at the funeral and unloads her anger and sadness on her friends - am I the only one who looses it myself while watching this scene? It was like the primal scream for all who have grieved, are grieving, or will grieve.
I suppose I better get to bed. As I mentioned before the fluff we have a big day ahead of us. Please keep Christian in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. We're hoping for a quick surgery, speedy recovery, and even faster results.
Sweet, fluffy dreams to all.
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