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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Four Times Over

Today could have been really sad.

It could have been a really awful day for me, Christian's mom.

I could have had to just barely get through this day.

But it wasn't that kind of day because Christian is here. Christian's alive. Sometimes I forget that because he's not the same kind of alive as you and me and my neighbor and my other kids. But he's alive.

Being a mother was the only thing I ever really wanted to do since I was little. Everything else came secondary. Today I'm honored that God would entrust me with three little lives.

One of those lives He entrusted to me twice.

I'm honored to be the mother of these three kids - even though Gabe complained about having to do his own laundry today, Lola screamed in hysterics at my gramma's house during our Mother's Day get together, and I'm not as confident as I was last week in Christian's new medication - I'm so glad I have all three of them to worry and complain about.

Because this day could have been so different.

I'm also just truly blessed to be able to have given birth to these kids. Women struggle every day to just become pregnant, and then stay pregnant, and then safely give birth. And then after giving birth, the trouble and worrying has really only just begun. If I didn't wholly appreciate this day I would be doing a disservice to those who aren't able to celebrate this day...yet. A disservice to those women who do feel pain when Mother's Day arrives.

Okay, so it's a little hard to be thankful and sunshiney with a four month old screaming in your ear. BUT, at the end of this Mother's Day, I'm so very thankful that I get to celebrate Mother's Day three times over!

Actually, four times over. Christian was given to me twice.

This morning I woke up to a breakfast bonanza that my husband and oldest son cooked up. I was met by donuts, banana waffles, fresh berries and a People magazine. I sat surrounded by all my kids and what could be better than that?


Robin Chlad said...

Amen to that!

Caroline said...

Happy Mothers Day Shauna! You've got a harder job than most of us and you are doing a GREAT job@

WhitneyBooze said...

I love the Erma story that you shared. It is very comforting!
And happy Mother's Day to you. It will never be the kind of Day that we once dreamed of - but I guess we just need to keep looking at the positives. And you're right - we were given our precious children to us a second time, and we are so lucky for that, and it would sure be a sadder Mother's Day if there was no Christian or Suzy. We are very lucky to have them (and THEY are mighty lucky to have US! )
What's up with the Vigabitrin? You sounded so positive a few days ago,,, and now you are second guessing? Is he having seaizures again? The positives all sounded so wonderful...........
Keep us posted.

Calicomama said...

I love this post, and I really don't like to be gushing praise so much but your insights are truly beautiful. You've summed up mother's day perfectly, and I am glad for your perspective.

Lindsey and Santana said...

A beautiful, God-Fearing mother you are! You are awesome Shauna! Somedays are harder than others and nothing can be said to make things better except your own healing. You have inspired so many on this journey you are traveling. I have been walking this road for over 3 years, and I come to you for inspiration. You are amazing! Hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day!

I pray those ICKY nasty seizures stay AWAY from Christian. That has been our toughest battle! But There are so many "new" options now than we first started the battle. Hang in there... it takes time and finding the right mix!

Alicia said...

I love how you say that God entrusted Christian to you twice. So very true. Happy (late) Mother's Day~!

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