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Monday, January 4, 2010

2009: A Look Back

I guess it's a blogger thing.

I've seen it done a few different ways, but the idea is to summarize the last year using blog entries as inspiration. That's loosely putting it. Some bloggers use the first sentence of the first entry of the first month, some bloggers summarize, in general, some bloggers even include pictures! But I digress.

I sat down to participate in my blogger duty to recap last year. I thought this would be fun. I only started the blog in July to chronicle Christian's journey after his accident. So I was all set to briefly recap every month of last year starting in January. That is part of Christian's life, after all.

As I was going through pictures (because I wanted to include his cutey, smiling, face) I wanted to pick out pictures from St. Paddy's Day and his first Easter. I couldn't do it. It was way too emotional for me and still is as I sit here typing. I still miss my baby every single day with all of my heart and soul. So a recap of the entire year with pictures of Christian from before the accident is not the kind of blog I'm ready to write just yet. This kind of thing just sneaks up me sometimes and there's no telling when and where it will happen. I can tell you that we took some amazing trips to Michigan, Disneyland, and Key West.

That's not to say that I didn't enjoy going back through the last six months or so to recap Christian's progress thus far.

So here goes...

July: We have a long way to go. But I believe in my heart that Christian will come back to me. With God all things are possible. (These are actually the last sentences of the first blog I wrote about Christian's accident. I believed it with all my heart then and I believe it with all my heart now.)

August: This week will be the end of our hospitalization journey. I'm so proud that we are going home. (This week was significant because it was the last week of August and we were about to leave Hacienda, the step down facility, where we had been for a whole month away from family and friends.)

September: CHRISTIAN CRIED TODAY!!! (This was so significant. I prayed and prayed to hear Christian cry. He hadn't made a sound for 6 weeks! He started out with a whimper, which soon turned into a few more whimpers, and now we have a boy who will let you know when he doesn't like something every time by crying. I wasn't the only one who prayed, everyone did. One time in church, Christian was whining and crying and Manny wanted to take his valve off. I said, "Don't take that off! Many people prayed for every one of those cries. We're leaving it on!")

October: We have a tradition. (This is our yearly tradition of going to Willcox for apple and pumpkin picking. It was the first "normal" activity we took Christian to do.)

November: I could write a book about why I'm thankful on this day and for what. (This sentence was referring to Thanksgiving. It was the most thankful Thanksgiving I had ever celebrated. Christian also had such a good day that day. Those ALWAYS stand out.)

December: Christian has officially joined his big brother, Gabe, as a member of the Big Brother Club! (Obviously this was a significant part of December for our household when Lola was born. It was the first time I was away from Christian and left him in the hands of trusted family members. He did great and everyone took such great care of him.)
Those entries, in retrospect, don't even seem to remotely recap the last six months. And July, August, hospitals, and Hacienda seem so far away - like years away.
I scanned over some of the other blogs - first day of HBOT, getting our own HBOT chamber at home with the help of wonderful friends, Christian gaining head and neck control, holding his head up in therapy, grabbing for toys, moving his arms, getting his feeding button, laying down foundation for this new way of life, paving this new road for our family. It's all so much in such a short period of time that feels like years have gone by.
Which reminds me of the movie, "Up." I just saw it and was taken by how much I related to the message. Or really how much I needed to be reminded that it is the journey that makes us who we are and not exactly getting to that final destination. Usually, that would be so cliche. But at this present time it reminds me to open my eyes and enjoy and appreciate this wonderful, frustrating, joyful, painful...beautiful journey. I am so honored to be Christian's mother. He is the bravest, strongest little boy I know and I am inspired by how hard he works every day.
So plans for 2010...we have so much in store for just the first six months! I couldn't wait for today because offices are open again and I can start making appointments! Just throwing a few things out there, of which I will elaborate on a later date- More HBOT, Napa Center, Botox/Phenol injections, and trache decannulation! Probably not in that order.
Forgive me because I so did NOT follow any kind of blogger format for recapping last year. But this way was more fitting.


ferfischer said...

It took me close to a year to really look at those pictures - for our one year anniversary video. It's still hard, and I don't know if it will get any easier. It feels like a different life now, and on our first retrospective, I didn't include pictures either. And the last year has felt like FIVE! SO much has happened. Exciting things for the next year though!

Jendioguardi said...

You have been truly blessed! What an amazing little man Christian is. He is doing so well and has come so far. Without you, none of his progress would have been possible. You are an amazing mother. Congrats on all of your achievemetns and best wishes for a great 2010! Hug and kiss those kiddies for me!

gavman306 said...

Shauna I know you've heard it a million times, but you really are an inspiraton! Your an amazing mom and you have an amazing boy! 2010 will be an awesome year for you guys, I feel it!

Beth said...

Shauna, I am tearing up reading your posts. You are such an amazing woman and mother and Christian is so very lucky to have you to fight for him. I pray for your family every day. All the best for 2010!!!

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