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Friday, July 17, 2009

Holding Christian











I didn't want to share my experience of holding Christian in the other blog because the other blog was so negative. So I thought I'd share that I did get to hold him. I was afraid to ask after a long day of discouragement for fear that someone would tell me no.

I finally decided that I wasn't going to let the day slip away without asking to hold my baby as was promised. It was the best gift. He was carefully placed in my lap through a spiderweb of tubes and wires. Someday he won't be so connected to something else and he'll just be connected to me. I didn't realize how big my baby was until I saw pictures.

He fell into a deep sleep with his face angled toward me. It was such deep and relaxed breathing that during the CPAP period, the ventilator went to back up and kicked on because it thought he had stopped breathing. No worries, though. The respiratory therapist said he was just in deep relaxation. That's because he was sleeping in my arms. I could have fallen asleep there myself. I held him for almost 3 hours. I can't wait to do it again.








12 comments:

sunflourchic said...

glad to hear some happy news. christian in his mommy arms. :)

Cindy said...

I'm so glad to hear that you had that time with Christian today. I'm sure he was just so happy to be back in mommy's arms, feeling your warmth and strength for him. Continued prayers for his full recovery and that you'll be spending more and more cuddle time with him, without all the tubes & wires. HUGS!!

Brooke said...

I am just SO thrilled that after a crapola day that you got to hold your precious baby!!! I'm sure he enjoyed it as much as you did mommy!!!

Nancy said...

Thanks for the pictures! Poor little man though, so many tubes! I'm so happy for you (and him) that you got to hold him. I'm sure being in his Mommy's loving arms was a huge relief for him.

Kristen said...

I am so glad you could finish out the day in such a beautiful way. I love how he relaxed in your arms - you know that loving embrace can never be replaced with anything else in the world. We love you and are thinking of you always, Shauna and Christian! XOXO

VHMPrincess said...

I will be praying for your family and that beautiful boy.

Tracy said...

I read about your story on the FF message boards. Know that I'm praying for your son and your family every day. Stay strong and believe in your son and the the work that God can do.

Tracy

Shirley said...

Such a beautiful moment. Christian definitely knew that he was in his mama's arms. That is the sweetest thing, and I am just so happy that you were able to hold your baby boy. More prayers coming your way, Shauna!

Cassie said...

I am so glad you were able to hold him! What n swesome day for both you and him, I know you both needed that.

Makenzies Miracle said...

I am so glad that you got to hold him!! What an angel!!! I remember the day they told me I could hold Makenzie after her accident.. I sobbed for ever!! We did HBOT in AZ too! HBOT of Arizona is great! There is a great website on HBOT at www.netnet.net/mums! We just got back from Costa Rica for Stem Cell Therapy too! We are praying for you guys!!! Are they making him braces for his little feet? It looks a bit like they are dropping. If not ask and also make she they and you are giving them a good stretch!!! My e-mail is makenziesmiracle and my daughters site is www.makenziesmiracle.blogspot.com . If you or any of your family have any questions about where to go next PLEASE don't hesitate to write! Tons of hus and prayers for Colorado!!!

Miriam said...

I cried when I saw the pictures. I'm happy for you that you get to hold your little one. Christian is such a fighter, and you are so strong.

I'm a mom from Hong Kong with a 6 month old daugther. I read about your story from FF. I will be thinking about you and your family.

Jen said...

The bond of holding you little one in need holds true in so many cases.

While our fight was not the same as yours, in many ways they are similar. We have 7 micro preemies in our family. When 2 of our boys were born at 26 weeks, the battle was much the same in the beginning stages. The changes that took place once I got to hold their tiny little bodies was amazing. Mommies always make everything better, even if it is the tiniest bits everyday.

Durning my 3 stints in the NICU, and a few stays in the PICU, I started having friends send me random things. I have this water bottle that I have used since my first pregnancy, and I still carry it to this day. My sil travels for work, and while in a coal mining western Pennsylvania town picked me up my favorite sticker that still lives on my bottle. It says "every breathe is a gift", every morning I see it and read it, then I roll out of bed to the loud mouths that are connected to those once weak and fragile lungs.

I pray for you and Christian that he will one day be just as loud, and that he will grow to know (just as my guys do for themselves) that everyday, in every way, EVERY BREATHE IS A GIFT!

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