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Sunday, July 19, 2009

AMAZING

a⋅mazing
–adjective
causing great surprise or sudden wonder.


Christian amazes me. People use the word 'amazing' like they use the word 'cool.' But I'm experiencing what 'amazing' really means. I'm finding amazement in the progress he makes everyday. He makes these little leaps and bounds and he's a fighter! Let me explain further...since Christian has come off the sedation his eyes have been rolled up. At first, you could only see the bottom rims of his eyes and then only the white part. Everyday, they've come down a little further and a little further. Today they were almost dead center. And I actually witnessed him trying to control his eyes moving from side to side. I could see him working to try and figure this whole eye-looking-seeing business out. I was amazed by Christian, I was amazed by the human body, and I was amazed by God. Every part of that was a miracle we thought we were going to loose and every part of his looking experimentation, and that I got to witness it, was a gift.

I also snuggled Christian a little today. I'm a snuggler with my kids. Gabe only lets me do it at home with nobody around and Christian was always just too busy to stay still, but I always got my kissies and huggies in. Today I put my cheek up to his and whispered in his ear how much I loved him. I put my hand on his belly and watch him move his head from side to side slowly. As I put my cheek against his again, I felt him stop and rest into me as I whispered. Now Christian's hands are always moving now but I looked down and his hand was rested over mine. Now that's amazing. Maybe it was a coincidence of reflexive movement all resting at once but I choose to believe he wanted snuggles from Mommy.

Little by little, wires and tubes are beginning to disappear. Today, Christian's arterial line was taken out, much to Christian's liking. He's been fighting that thing for days. He has bruises on his arm from resisting the tape. Again, such a little fighter. He's much happier and can now move his left hand freely. His lungs are also looking great on the x-rays so his secretions seem to be decreasing and that makes me feel better. He's adjusting to his feeds well, too. No surprise there. If there is one thing about my boy, he likes to eat and no silly brain injury will change that!

As for cough and gag, none yet. The appointment for his trach surgery is Tuesday or Wednesday, whenever they can fit him in. I got news from the surgeon today that "somehow" he ended up on the schedule for first thing Monday morning (that's tomorrow). I said I wasn't comfortable with that. I wanted to at least give him until Tuesday or Wednesday. Then I will know we gave him time. It's not permanent. The surgeon said if he gets it Tuesday and he strengthens his cough and gag reflex over night, they can take it out the next day. We'll just do whatever he needs. That's my motto. The quicker he's disconnected from machines, the quicker we can get on with his recovery. But we're waiting until Tuesday or Wednesday.

Christian is also receiving a mild muscle relaxer to help with his tone. The doctor said it would help weed out what was purposeful movement and what was posturing movement. Well, HE'S STILL MOVING!!! Even on the medication. He gets those arms going and it looks like he's ready to punch someone out. That someone is probably any negative doctor that steps foot in this hospital room.

I received a beautiful, not to mention, tasty delivery today. It was an Edible Arrangement from my August Mamas group. It had chocolate covered bananas and strawberries, and my favorite - mango! Their support has really been nothing short of AMAZING in it's truest sense. I've never felt such support and love in all my life. I feel like they're my family and I'm truly blessed to be a part of their Mommyhood. Thank you will never be enough. They've also helped to spread the word about Christian and THAT means the world to me. I get a little emotional just thinking about it...talk amongst yourselves.

Two more things...I've received donations, some from around the world, and I can't even believe the kindness and love that exists in this world. It inspires me to be a better person and there is no question these donations will help with Christian's recovery. God bless you! Furthermore, I'm a little bit of a blog virgin/idiot so if you ask me a question in the comments section, trust me, I'm sitting here dying to answer you but haven't quite figured it out yet. As soon as I do, I'll respond. I promise I'm not ignoring you so I'm going to answer you in my blogs in the meantime.

HOLY CRAP! I just took a break to talk to the hospital pastor. He asked if we could pray and, of course, I'm always down for prayers for Christian! But this time I specifically asked if we could pray for his cough and gag reflex. After our prayer he walked out and the respiratory therapist came in to do percussion (pounding on his chest to loosen up junk) and Christian COUGHED!!! You cannot make this stuff up!!! Thank you, God! When people tell you God is good, believe them. God is good.

God is amazing.

20 comments:

Eliisa said...

That is so awesome, Shauna. Christian, you show everyone!

dora.longman said...

You are having me in tears again :) happy tears! I am so happy for todays blog and all the positive things in it! Just tell us what we need to pray for and we pray and GOD will do the rest. Of course that was a snuggle, I think now that you can hold him his recovery will be even faster. And so good that you know what you want in his care and you step up for it! You know Monday is too soon and that is what it is!!! How was your night with Gabe? Love and hugs to all 5 of you!

One more thing is I am AMAZED at YOU. You are a wonderful mother and a wonderful person and you feel like we are family because WE are. We have a connection that is there and it will get stronger day by day as we go on this journey with you. You are not alone!

Cassie said...

That is really great news. I am not a big believer in God, but I have to say, these miracles happening in that very room with you makes me a believer again. I am so happy he is making progress and glad you were able to join the fruit bouquet!

Bianca said...

Shauna you have me in tears every day when I read this blog, but like Dora said they're happy tears! And like she said you ARE an amazing person. I am so excited that Christian coughed! Baby steps, he'll get there :)

Makenzies Miracle said...

GO CHRISTIAN!!! GO GOD!! Trust and believe! God is at work!!

www.makenziesmiracle.blogspot.com

maz said...

My heart is singing at your post. What lovely news to wake up to in the morning! Yea for Christian...such leaps and bounds. Strong, brave wee fighter! And I second, third (and doubtlessly 100th!) the consensus that you have been amazing throughout this. Always thinking of you guys....xxxx

sunflourchic said...

it's 4:32 am, i woke up and the first thing i had to do was check to see if anything was new. thank god for christian coughing. i know he will continue to show all those negative people what he can do.

gavman306 said...

This has just made my day!!This is the first thing I do with my coffee, and it has lifted my day. You are such an inspiration, you are so positive, and so calm, you are Christian's mom for a reason! God really does work miracles, Christian is living proof of that, keep fighting, you are doing great!!! Keep coughing and losing those tubes and wires, and we'll all keep praying everyday! I hope today is even better than the last!
God Bless You!!!
Melissa

Cindy said...

OMG Shauna, I'm sitting here crying (with Kira asking me why) because of your awesome news!! I'm so happy about Christian's cough!! I have also been praying specifically for a gag/cough reflex to come back in him! Wow. Another miracle for our boy!! Continued prayers being sent his way... I'm so happy!! What a great way to start out a Monday!!

ferfischer said...

Yay for coughing! I have faith that Christian will not need a trach. I believe. And, for me also, the love and support renewed my faith in humanity, and reminded me that when it all comes down to it, we are all human, and we are all mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, daughters, grandparents, and friends. And human compassion is a wondrous thing. Can't wait to give Christian his little therapy tool that Cici loves so much and he can start using right away! Better get going on that! :) HUgs to all of you!

Carrie & Jason +3 said...

I don't think I have even been moved to tears by a kid coughing...until now! WTG Christian! Hugs to you Shauna, you are a truly strong woman...I can see where Christian gets it!

Cara
(TofuCutiePie, Aug 08 mom)

vannak2 said...

What a pleasure to wake up to such a great blog entry...I am smiling from head to toe with the progress he has made. We are all still hoping and praying that God continues to work his miracles:)

Vanessa

melmaui said...

Shauna, what beautiful news. I am crying right now too--I am so thrilled that your little guy coughed--he did it! What a milestone....
You are such a special and amazing mother, just like the other girls said--Christian couldn't have a better mommy by his side. The snuggle/cheek story was so beautiful--he knew his mommy was there and wanted to be close. I am so, so happy to read this latest post. Thank you! We love you little Christian....

Rochelle said...

Shauna,
I am joining the others in tears this morning because I'm so happy to hear that Christian coughed, and that he's still moving around, has gotten the line out, etc. All good news for sure! Go Christian! I'm thankful you have this venue to post updates and share each bit of good news with us all, and the specific needs of Christian. I am sure nobody expects you to sit and answer their questions but since you mentioned you were trying to figure out how to do that, etc., I just wanted to tell you one easy way to respond to someone's comment or question on your blog is just to comment on the original post yourself. Your response will show up as a comment like ours but it will include your blog id so we'll know its from you. If you need any technical help on the blog, please don't ever hesitate to ask me. I'm happy to help anytime. Much love and good wishes and prayers for more coughs and gags (sorry, that doesn't sound so nice but I'm sure you understand what I mean) so that Christian can keep on improving!

Caroline said...

Your post today made me cry! I'm so happy that things are so positive right now! Thinking of you guys today!

Shirley said...

Hooray for Christian! I knew that cough was coming! This week, I've asked my parish (St. Anastasia, in Troy, MI) to pray for Christian. He'll have a special prayer at each Mass. So I'm sure more coughing/gagging is on the way!

Here's to more snuggling with Christian!

NuthinLikeGatorMama said...

Praise the LORD!!!!!!!!!! Keep being there fighting for and with him, so when he's older you can fight WITH him!!
Love to you all!
Krystin (mama2many)

maz said...

BTW....Have to say I love seeing the number of 'followers' to your blog increase every day! And on the FB group...phew...so many! So many people dedicated to thinking and supporting you guys! :o)

Bekah said...

Now that last bit, that's amazing! My friend on facebook pointed me to your blog and I've been following Christian's story for several days now. I hope only the best for him!

Nancy said...

He "Coughed"! YAY!!!! Go Christian, Go!

I keep coming back for more, I want to see the progress through your eyes. Thank you very much for writing this blog. I HAVE to know how Christian is.

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